Sunday, February 26, 2012

Stress Busters

I have always loved when someone tells me that it is good for me to lower my stress. Now, if I knew how to do that then wouldn't my stress already be lower. But stress is bad for your heart, so I went to find some ideas on this topic.

  1. Think positive. No, I don't mean "I am positive this won't work" type of thinking. But rather thoughts like "Tomorrow will be better" or "Someday, I am going to find this funny."
  2. Daily relaxation. Nope, sitting in front of the TV doesn't count. Instead, maybe try some meditation. There are some wonderful guided ones for beginners. Although, personally I prefer Tai Chi.
  3. Develop some stress busters. I like deep breathing. Inhale the good thoughts. Exhale the bad. Saying sorry when I screw also seems to work.  My husband likes to unwind while walking the dog.
  4. Play. When the worlds gets to you, go do something fun. Go to a movie with a friend, read a book, or even play tennis. Remember the fun in life. Smell a flower, write a story, or volunteer for an organization you support.

American Heart Month is coming to an end. But, I hope that you will continue to work on improving your cardiac health. Just because this month is almost over, does not mean you can't set a personal goal for the rest of the year.

Thursday, February 23, 2012

Eye Opening Jury Duty

 

I am sorry that I have not posted anything for about the last week. However, last week I had the eye opening experience of serving on the jury for a criminal trial. It was a case involving three accounts of sexual battery. For each account the jury had the choice of three different charges or not guilty.

While the facts surrounding the case where unpleasant, it was not the case but rather the jury that has caused me sleepless nights. Most women who experience sexual battery never report it. When I was a child, it was because the victim, not the defendant, who was put on trial. Her character was questioned and dragged through the mud.

My mother taught my brother and me two very important things. For my brother, she said, “A women should be able to walk down the street buck naked without being sexually assaulted.” Her truth to me was a little different. For me, it was “Don’t advertise what you are not selling.” At the time, I thought the statements contradicted each other. But, now, I understand them more. Anyone should be able to walk down the street safely regardless of their state of dress or undress. However, it is in my best interest to not present myself as a victim.

But as the decades have passed, I thought that society’s attitudes toward the victim had changed. I was mistaken.

I heard these reasons for not pressing the most severe or, in fact, any charges:

  • She did not leave after the first time. So, she was giving consent.
  • She asked for it.
  • He is young. I don’t want to ruin his life.
  • They had a child together (over a year ago), so he had permission to continue taking it.
  • Guys have needs.
  • After waking (the act occurred in her sleep), she did not immediately call the police.
  • I have done the same thing with my wife. If I convict him, I am guilty too.
  • She said that she wanted to work it out.
  • Both parties were using street drugs.

The jury actually agreed that a sex act occurred. We agree the victim was asleep at the time, because this fact was stated by both the defense and the prosecution. The question was entirely over consent.

When can consent be given? Can it be given after the fact? This is what hung our jury of six individuals. Some individuals believed that consent for a sexual act could occur after the act. Personally, I believe that after the fact you may give forgiveness, but not permission.

What difference does this make? Well, in this case, the only thing the two parties differed on was what was said the next morning. The female said she flipped. The male said that she responded with “Oh, that’s ok. I love you.” The timing of consent question would have removed this issue.

So, What do you think? Is it legal consent if it is given after the fact?

Does your opinion change if I tell you that the defendant accepted a plea bargain as our jury hit its 4th hour of deliberations?

Sunday, February 12, 2012

Hard Choices


I sit here debating which of three poems best conveys my message. 

The first was an assignment on the Color of Nature.  It had to be a rhyming poem. I quickly set out to meet the given criteria.  The resulting poem is light and pretty. While it softly addresses my message that being kind is not always easy, verses lack emotion.

My second attempt goes into more depth. I abandoned the assignment and strayed from end rhymes. It better conveys my message. But, it lacks a poetic feel.

Edgier was my third attempt. It is not pretty. Rather, it expresses more raw emotion. This poem lacks extra words, maybe even important connecting words. It is grittier than the other two.

Three poems with the same message. Interestingly, the concept got riskier with each attempt. But, as I stand before a microphone, which will I be most confident reading? I didn’t know, so I asked others.

Four people consulted. The results…a tie. Two people think the softer poem is the best of the three. It is definitely the most traditional. The other two prefer the edge of the last poem.

One person explained. She, a senior citizen, thought the first poem was the prettiest. However, it was the raw emotion of the third that drew her interest. It best revealed the poet.

I have gathered all three poems. It will be interesting to see which one I am brave enough to read this evening. Do I go with safe or expose myself to the audience?

Oh, just an interesting side note: the youngest and the oldest (both females) of my four people preferred the edgier piece. The two middle aged males liked the softer rhyming piece. My risk taker thought the rhyming piece was best. Although he never said it was good, just better than the others.

5 Things I am Doing for My Heart

 
  1. Move more! Park the car and walk to spots less than two miles away unless I have to carry more than my backpack holds.
  2. Consuming more beta-carotene rich foods! Carrots, sweet potatoes, dark leafy greens and even apricots are rich in beta-carotene and so yummy. Add the fact that they can reduce your stroke risk by 40% and it’s a win-win.
  3. Get and give hugs! Studies have shown that people who are touched lovingly often have fewer heart problems than the control group. I just have to be careful that those I hug want one.
  4. No fad or crash diets! While I would love to be skinny, frequent dieting and restrictive diets can weaken the heart muscle. Instead, I am going to make eating lifestyle changes is improve the quality of my diet. Small steps that can last a lifetime.
  5. Reduce the sodium in my food! I’m avoiding prepackaged foods. Substituting other seasonings for salt. Did you know that oregano on subs can fool your palate into thinking you have added salt?
Small steps are easier to maintain. Why don’t you pick a few little things you can do to improve your cardiac health? Try them for American Heart Month. Maybe the changes will last a lifetime!

Friday, February 10, 2012

Dreams

Most of the dreams I remember involve life threatening, world saving action. Bullets fly. Air ducts are crawled through. Car chases gauranteed.  Almost nightly, I have mini movies play through my mind.

But, lately, I have been having dreams of another type. Not movies, but rather books. Normally, my dreams are full of vivid imagery and in full color. But, these dreams have no pictures, just words. Sometimes, I only hear the words being read. In other dreams, I see the words before me and hear myself reading them in my mind.  No images, but still engaging stories. Ones from which I do not want to wake.

I am enjoying my new dreams as much as my old. But, I wonder...why the switch? What has changed during my days to so profoundly affect my dreams? At first, I thought maybe because I am writing more. But, I have always written. I love to read, but I get plenty of that during my days. I know that I am beginning to spend more time on word choice, but would that have effects on my dreams.

It is a mystery to me. My new dreams are interesting in subject and presentation. But, the lost of my old movies saddens me. I hope one day these dreams will return. It is nice to have a variety of entertainment during my time with Mr. Sandman.

Monday, February 6, 2012

Psychic Calendars?

My desk calendar informed me that today is the birthday of Natalie Cole, Babe Ruth, and Aaron Burr. Then, in bright letters it reminded me of the pain radiating from my shoulder blade to my elbow. Yes, today is Lame Duck Day. Wow, my calendar's creators are psychic. Way back when writing the daily facts, they knew that on Feb. 6th, I would be hurting. Neat! Maybe I should skim ahead to see what else is in store for me this year.

OK, that just had to be the pain pills talking. But, what is Lame Duck Day? I have never heard of it. Well, a quick internet search told me that it commemorates the 20th amendment.  Did you have to memorize amendments in school? I did, right before I completely forgot them. I guess I am off to find out what this celebrated addition to the US Constitution accomplished.

Ah ha. The 20th amendment has nothing to do with my shoulder blade pain. It defined the beginning and ending dates for terms of elected federal offices. So, the lame duck is the elected individual between the time he loses an election and ends his term.  The amendment was ratified in 1933 and moved the date a new President took office from March 4th (four months after his election) to January 20th. 

Mystery solved. I am off to rest my arm. Hope that everyone has a good start to their week. Happy Monday!

Sunday, February 5, 2012

American Heart Month

February is American Heart Month, sponsered by American Heart Association.  Heart disease is the leading cause of death for both genders in the United States. In fact, over 600,000 Americans die from it each year. 

What are somethings you could do to participate?

  • Take a CPR class. CPR is a vital step in the cardiac chain of survival. It allows a responder to manually circulate oxygen carrying blood to the heart, brain, and other vital organs delaying biological death.
  • Learn how to use an AED and where they are located. Every minute the use of an AED is delayed decreases the chances of reviving a victim of sudden cardiac arrest by 10%.
  • Learn the signs and symptoms of a heart attack. Early recognition and activiation of the Emergency Medical Services System is critical. Personally, I say if I call EMS fast enough, they may get to the victim before she loses consciousness. This keeps me from needing to use my CPR skills.
  • Realize that the signs and symptoms of a heart attack are different for men and women.
  • Quit smoking.
  • Start exercising.
  • Eat healthier.
There are many ways to help decrease your chances of developing heart disease. My Sunday blog posts in February are going to feature Heart topics.

I hope everyone has a Heart Healthy month!

Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Tribute to Blackbeard.

My friend's beloved service dog recently died. Blackbeard was a loyal dog, dedicated to the human he helped. Here is a poem in tribute to this valiant animal.

Consciousness you lost.
He went for help. Tires bark. Thud!
Lifeless pup. Hearts weep.